Preparing for the Match Meeting How Surrogates Can Make a Great First Impression.png

Preparing for the Match Meeting: How Surrogates Can Make a Great First Impression

One of the most exciting steps in your surrogacy journey is the match meeting—the first time you connect with potential intended parents. This meeting is a chance to get to know one another, explore compatibility, and lay the foundation for a successful partnership. While it’s normal to feel a little nervous, preparing ahead of time can help you feel confident and ready to make a genuine connection.

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What Is a Match Meeting?

A match meeting is an introductory conversation between a surrogate and the intended parent(s), typically arranged and facilitated by your surrogacy agency. It may take place virtually or in person and usually includes a surrogacy coordinator to guide the discussion.

This meeting gives both parties the opportunity to:

  • Learn more about each other’s motivations and expectations

  • Discuss preferences around communication, involvement, and the birth plan

  • Ask questions and gauge emotional and personality compatibility

Think of it like a thoughtful interview or a “first date” where both sides are exploring whether the relationship feels like a good fit.

How to Prepare for Your Match Meeting

1. Reflect on Your Own Preferences and Boundaries

Before the meeting, take some time to think about what matters most to you in this journey. Ask yourself:

  • What kind of relationship do I hope to have with the intended parents?

  • How often do I want to communicate throughout the pregnancy?

  • Are there any personal values or beliefs I’d want my match to share?

  • What are my expectations around delivery, visitors, and post-birth contact?

Being clear on your boundaries and goals will help you communicate authentically and avoid misalignment later on.

2. Review the Intended Parents’ Profile

When your agency provides a profile or background information on the intended parents before the meeting, read it thoroughly. This gives you a sense of who they are and allows you to come prepared with thoughtful questions or conversation starters.

3. Bring Your Questions

You’re not just being interviewed—you’re also learning about them. Consider asking questions such as:

  • What inspired you to pursue surrogacy?

  • What kind of involvement would you like during the pregnancy?

  • How do you envision communication throughout the journey?

  • What’s your ideal birth experience like?

These questions help you better understand their values, hopes, and expectations.

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During the Meeting: Tips for a Positive Conversation

1. Be Yourself

The goal isn’t to “perform”—it’s to connect. Be honest, warm, and open. Share your story, why you chose to become a surrogate, and what this journey means to you. Intended parents are often deeply moved by the compassion and generosity of surrogates, and authenticity goes a long way.

2. Keep an Open Mind

Every intended parent has a unique story—some may be single, LGBTQ+, international, or have experienced infertility. You don’t need to be exactly alike to be a great match. Stay open to different experiences and perspectives.

3. Use Clear, Respectful Communication

Be transparent about what you’re comfortable with, but also listen actively. It’s okay to say, “That’s something I’d like to think more about,” or, “I hadn’t considered that before.”

4. Let the Agency Facilitate

Your agency coordinator is there to help guide the meeting and support both parties. They’ll ensure key topics are covered and that everyone has the chance to speak and ask questions.

After the Meeting: What Comes Next?

After the match meeting, both you and the intended parents will share your feedback with your agency. There’s no pressure to say yes immediately—everyone is encouraged to take a day or two to reflect.

If both parties feel the connection is right, congratulations—you’re officially matched! If either side doesn’t feel it’s the right fit, that’s okay too. A good match is one where everyone feels comfortable, aligned, and excited to move forward.

TAKE THE SURROGACY QUIZ >>>>> CHAT WITH A SURROGATE

The match meeting is a meaningful step in your surrogacy journey. With a little preparation and an open heart, you’ll be ready to make a strong first impression and take the next step toward helping someone’s dream of parenthood come true.

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