Deciding to become a surrogate is a meaningful and personal choice—but it also involves planning ahead, especially when it comes to your job. Many prospective surrogates ask: “Do I need to tell my employer?” or “How should I handle time off?”
DISCLAIMER: This blog post is for informational purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice. Always consult with an attorney if you have legal questions.
While you’re not typically required to share all the details of your surrogacy journey with your employer, communicating early and clearly with your employer can help you navigate time off and reduce stress throughout the process. Here’s how to prepare for that conversation with confidence.
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When to Tell Your Employer
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to when you should tell your employer you’re becoming a surrogate. Some surrogates wait until their pregnancy is confirmed via ultrasound. Others choose to share sooner—especially if they’ll need time off for medical screening, embryo transfer, or travel.
A good rule of thumb:
Tell your employer once you’ve signed your surrogacy contract and have a projected timeline for clinic appointments and transfer.
What to Say (and What You Don’t Have to)
You are not required to disclose every detail of your journey. You might simply say something like:
“I want to share that I’m planning to carry a pregnancy as a gestational surrogate. I’ll need occasional time off for medical appointments and, eventually, maternity leave. I’m happy to coordinate with you to ensure my responsibilities are covered.”
If you feel comfortable sharing more, that’s totally fine—but the level of detail is up to you. Keep in mind that surrogacy may be unfamiliar to some people, so be prepared for a few questions or misconceptions.
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Understand Your Rights
It’s important to know that as a surrogate, you may still eligible for the same types of leave as you would be for your own pregnancy, depending on your state and employer policies. This may include:
FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act) – Up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave if you qualify
Short-term disability – Some states or employers offer this for pregnancy-related leave
Paid time off (PTO) – You can use accrued PTO for appointments or recovery
State-specific pregnancy protections – Some states go beyond federal FMLA laws
If you’re unsure about your benefits, your HR department or surrogacy attorney can help point you in the right direction.
Tips for a Smooth Conversation
Here are a few ways to make the process more comfortable and professional:
Schedule a private meeting with your supervisor or HR—don’t spring it on them mid-shift or in passing
Bring a general timeline of expected appointments and leave dates
Reassure your employer that you’re committed to your role and will work to ensure continuity during your time off
Offer to follow up with HR to coordinate paperwork, short-term disability, or accommodations as needed
TAKE THE SURROGACY QUIZ >>>>> CHAT WITH A SURROGATE
Support Beyond Work
Remember that surrogacy is a team effort—not just with your agency or intended parents, but in your day-to-day life too. A supportive employer can make a big difference in helping your journey feel more manageable.
At Surrogacy Mentor, we encourage surrogates to lean on their support systems—including their workplaces—whenever possible. We’re here to answer questions, offer resources, and guide you every step of the way.
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