The relationship between the surrogate and the intended parents is incredibly unique, so it's only natural that many people involved in this process want to stay in touch after the baby is born. However, the post-birth relationship between the surrogate and intended parents can be a sensitive subject, and it requires careful consideration and open communication.
In this post, we will explore what this relationship can look like, how to navigate boundaries, and how to maintain a mutually respectful friendship for years after the birth.
Defining the Relationship: Open Communication
Open and honest communication is key. Before the birth, the surrogate and intended parents should discuss their expectations about ongoing contact. This helps to ensure that everyone is on the same page and can prevent misunderstandings later on. Most surrogates and parents navigate this organically, while some may choose to create a formal post-birth contact agreement. Such a document can serve as a roadmap for the relationship, outlining how often and in what manner the parties will stay in touch.
What the Relationship Can Look Like
- Occasional Updates: Some surrogates and intended parents opt for occasional updates via letters, emails, or social media. This can include sharing photographs, milestones, or just general life updates.
- Regular Contact: Others may choose a more involved relationship that includes regular visits or video chats. This can allow the surrogate to maintain a connection with the child and the family.
- Limited or No Contact: For various reasons, some parties decide that limited or no contact is the best option for them. This decision should be respected by all involved.
Navigating Boundaries
Respect Each Other's Wishes
Recognizing and honoring the wishes and boundaries of all parties is essential. If at any time someone feels uncomfortable with the level of contact, it's crucial to communicate openly about these feelings.
Flexibility and Understanding
Life changes, and so may feelings about the post-birth relationship. A willingness to be flexible and understanding can help maintain a positive connection.
Cultivate Empathy
Remembering the unique and shared experiences can create a strong bond. Also, keep in mind that every person experienced your journey from a completely different perspective. Empathizing with each other's feelings and respecting each other's roles in the surrogacy process can foster a lasting friendship.
Celebrate the Relationship
Acknowledging the special connection and celebrating it can keep the relationship joyful and positive. Some choose to commemorate their journey with annual get-togethers or other meaningful traditions.
The post-birth relationship between surrogates and intended parents is as unique as the individuals involved. Whether it's a close friendship, occasional updates, or limited contact, what's most important is that the relationship is based on mutual respect, open communication, and a clear understanding of boundaries.
At Surrogacy Mentor, we are here to guide you through this incredible journey. Our team of experts is ready to assist you in defining and nurturing the relationship that feels right for you and your family. Feel free to reach out to us with any questions or support you may need.