The surrogacy journey is full of hope, intention, and incredible possibility—but just like any medical or emotional journey, it can come with unexpected twists. While many surrogate experiences go smoothly from match to delivery, some include bumps in the road: canceled transfers, medical delays, failed embryos, or changes in the match itself.

Common Surrogacy Setbacks

Every surrogate’s journey is different, but some of the most common hiccups include:

• Failed embryo transfer: Even with perfect timing and high-quality embryos, success isn’t guaranteed. It may take more than one try.

• Cycle cancellation: Sometimes, your body doesn’t respond to the IVF medications the way doctors expect, and a cycle must be postponed.

• Medical clearance denial: Rare, but possible—sometimes a clinic finds something in screening that disqualifies a surrogate medically.

• Breakdowns in communication: Occasionally, the surrogate-intended parent relationship needs additional support or adjustment.

• Unexpected pregnancy complications: Like any pregnancy, surrogacy may involve medical complications that require rest, interventions, or early delivery.

These scenarios can feel overwhelming—but they’re not uncommon, and you are not alone.

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Give Yourself Space to Feel Disappointed

It’s okay to feel upset, frustrated, or discouraged when things don’t go as planned. That doesn’t make you any less strong—or any less committed to your surrogacy journey. In fact, acknowledging your emotions is a vital step in moving forward.

Talk to someone you trust, whether it’s a partner, fellow surrogate, or your Surrogacy coordinator. Many agencies also offer counseling support or access to mental health professionals, especially during tough moments.

Reframing Setbacks as Part of the Process

Setbacks aren’t failures—they’re part of the larger process. Many successful journeys include detours. A failed transfer, for example, doesn’t mean your journey is over. It might mean a change in protocol, another try, or waiting for the right embryo.

Sometimes, the journey you started isn’t the journey you finish—but that doesn’t take away from your impact or the care you’ve put in.

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Lean on Your Support Team

You don’t have to carry the weight of uncertainty alone. Your agency, coordinator, or clinic should be your first point of contact for questions and reassurance. At Surrogacy Mentor, we’re always here to walk you through the next step, even when the path changes.

Online support communities, surrogate Facebook groups, and therapy sessions can also offer encouragement from others who’ve walked a similar road.

Stay Focused on the Big Picture

Surrogacy is deeply meaningful work. While delays and changes can be discouraging, your heart, your effort, and your commitment matter. Whether you’re gearing up for a second attempt or exploring your options after a match falls through, your willingness to help others build a family is something to be proud of.

TAKE THE SURROGACY QUIZ >>>>> CHAT WITH A SURROGATE

Final Thoughts

No one begins a surrogacy journey expecting setbacks—but when they happen, know this: you are resilient. You are supported. And you are not alone. At Surrogacy Mentor, we’re committed to walking with you through the highs and lows of this life-changing experience.

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