Surrogacy and Social Media: What Can (and Should) You Share?

We live in a world where sharing milestones online has become second nature. From baby announcements to medical updates, our social feeds often feel like digital diaries. But if you’re a surrogate—or planning to become one—navigating what’s appropriate (and safe) to post during your journey is a bit more complex.

Why Social Media Boundaries Matter in Surrogacy

Surrogacy is a deeply personal journey—not just for you, but also for the intended parents (IPs), medical professionals, and legal teams involved. While your experience is uniquely yours, it’s important to consider privacy, confidentiality, and legal agreements before hitting “share.”

Oversharing can unintentionally violate contracts, compromise privacy, or even damage relationships. On the flip side, sharing your story in a thoughtful way can inspire others and help normalize surrogacy.

What You Can Typically Share

Every journey is different, and your surrogacy contract may contain specific language about media and confidentiality. That said, many surrogates are free to post about certain parts of their journey—especially if it’s focused on you and not identifying the intended parents.

Here are some common examples of what’s typically okay to share (but always check your agreement first):

• Share: General updates about your health and feelings

• Share: Your reasons for becoming a surrogate

• Share: Milestones like embryo transfer day or beta results (without naming IPs)

• Share: Photos of yourself (not including the baby or IPs)

• Share: Inspirational messages about the surrogacy experience

What You Shouldn’t Share Without Consent

Before you post, ask yourself: “Could this reveal personal information about the intended parents or baby?” If the answer is yes—or even maybe—it’s best to hold off or get permission.

Here are some things you should avoid posting without explicit approval:

• Do Not Share: Names, photos, or identifying details about the intended parents

• Do Not Share: Ultrasound images with full names or clinic info visible

• Do Not Share: The baby’s name, birth details, or photos

• Do Not Share: Any screenshots of private communication with the IPs

• Do Not Share: Medical complications or legal updates involving others

Remember: even with good intentions, a single post can breach privacy agreements or trust.

Tips for Sharing Responsibly

1. Review your contract
   Most surrogacy contracts outline what’s allowed on social media. If yours doesn’t, ask your agency or attorney for clarification.

2. Talk with your IPs
   Some IPs are totally open to you sharing your journey online—others prefer privacy. Having an honest conversation early on can set the tone and build mutual respect.

3. Use general language
   Instead of “The dads picked the embryo today!” try “Today’s a big step in the journey—I’m feeling hopeful!”

4. Wait until after birth for certain posts
   Many surrogates choose to wait until after delivery (and after confirming IP comfort) before sharing certain aspects of the journey.

5. Use privacy settings wisely
   If you do post, consider using “Close Friends” on Instagram, Facebook privacy lists, or private surrogate groups to keep things contained.

Final Thoughts

Social media can be a powerful tool for connection, advocacy, and support. But with surrogacy, a little extra care goes a long way. Thoughtful sharing helps preserve trust with the intended parents and ensures you stay in line with legal agreements and ethical best practices.